


to dream of the times we've never had

by amosanguis



Series: Harvey's Dreams [1]
Category: Common Law, Suits (TV)
Genre: 2nd pov - harvey, M/M, harvey sees different verses in his dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 05:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike had an eidetic memory; you had dreams of different times, of different futures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. These dreams I have...

-z-

 

It breaks your heart sometimes - these dreams of what could-have-been’s and what-may-be’s.

Sometimes, Mike’s a waiter at your favorite little bar.  He’s this adorable snarky little thing and you’re together - but it isn’t love.

Other times he’s someone who really did graduate from Harvard but he got a job at another firm.  The two of you would meet in the courtroom and for the occasional drink with the even more occasional fuck.  But then he meets Kyle and  _they_  fall in love and every time you wake up from this timeline, you can taste your own bitterness.

And still other times - and this is the one that you really love and hate - he’s someone who was raised by both parents and he still becomes a lawyer and the two of you meet at your favorite hot dog stand.  

You date for years before you propose.

You honeymoon in Bora Bora and make love on the beach.  You even adopt a boy and name him Wes and he grows up to be a lawyer just like the two of you.  But then something happens and Wes moves away to become a detective.

 

-x-

 

You walk past Donna’s desk with a hand over your face, trying to scrub away the remnants of last night’s dreams.

 

-x-

 

_“Harvey, Wes wants us to come out to L.A.!” Mike calls out as he flips the steaks on the grill._

_You poke your head outside and glare._

_“Is this about the problems he has with his partner - what’s his face?”_

_Mike grins and shakes his head as he turns to you, throwing his arms around your neck and bringing you down for a small kiss._

_“Travis,” a slight admonishment in his tone, “and a little.  But Christmas is just around the corner and I think it would be nice to spend it in California this year.”_

_You try to look put out, but you know it doesn’t work._

“Harvey?”

 

-x-

 

“ _Harvey_?” you’re jerked rudely back into reality by Mike.

“What do you want, puppy?” you ask, still trying to shake the dream off.

“Here are the files you wanted about the Reven/Neppahannog case,” Mike sets a small stack of folders on your desk.

You don’t say anything as you pick up one of the folders, just give him a shooing motion of dismissal.

“You had another dream, didn’t you?” Donna asks, sitting in front of your desk after Mike's left.

You glare.

“Was it the one where you guys were married?” you sometimes forget that she’s immune to you.  ”How are Wes and Travis getting along?”

You really hate that she knows you ((and all the other yous)) so well.  

“Better, Mike wants us to go to LA for Christmas to meet Travis.”

“That’s nice,” Donna is smiling softly.

“Yeah,” you huff.  ”Yeah, it is.  I’m incredibly proud of my fake son.”

A grimace flashes across Donna’s face so fast you almost miss it.  Then Louis is storming into your office and he’s demanding something about the case you’re working on.  

And, even though you want to punch him in the face, you silently thank him for distracting you.

 

-z-


	2. ...let them be my reality...

-z-

 

 _“_ Harvey _?”_

_“Yeah?” you press a small kiss on the side of Mike’s mouth._

_“What should we get him?”_

_You sigh as you think about it; you don’t even realize that you the two of you are slowly dancing to the sizzle of the steaks still on the grill._

_“How about—”_

 

-x-

 

You jerk awake.

You stare at the ceiling; and for those last few moments that you can - you relish in the remnants of a love you don’t think you can ever have. You remember how perfectly Mike fit in your arms, you remember how snugly Wes had fit against your hip when he was still a boy.

You get out of bed and head to the kitchen – you won’t be getting any more sleep tonight.

You see a ghost of Wes standing on his tip toes to reach the cookie jar.

You wonder what it says about you that no matter which future you’re in, you always live here – in this condo. There were just some truths that the universe clung to – you always live here, Mike is always the one you love (sometimes he returns it, sometimes he doesn’t), you’re always a lawyer.

By the time you leave for work, you think that you’ve managed to shove down the dreams and all their memories.

And, when you see Mike, you pretend that you don’t see a grinning Wes running out from behind him and up to you. As Mike tells you about the case, you pretend that you’re also not listening to Wes tell you how he made the Little League, that he’s going to pitch, that Coach says he has so much potential ((when he can focus on the game)).

 

-x-

 

“So,” Donna starts when she comes in, closes the door behind her, “have you decided what to get Wes for Christmas?”

You glare.

“They’re getting stronger,” is all you say, shaking your head. “They’re starting to bleed over.”

Donna is quiet as she contemplates.

“What does that mean?” she finally asks.

“I don’t know,” you say, your frustration evident in your voice. You stood and angrily gestured to the door Mike had just left through, “I just saw a child I’m never going to have come up to my desk and tell me that he’s going to be the goddamned pitcher for these games that I will never be going to!”

“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that you need to make a move?” Donna asks nonchalantly.

You glare again. Donna had been trying to get you to ask Mike out ever since you told her that he was the one your other selves were sometimes with.

“No.”

 

-x-

 

_You sigh as you think about it; you don’t even realize that you the two of you are slowly dancing to the sizzle of the steaks still on the grill._

_“How about—?”_

_“Don’t say ‘another car’,” Mike interrupted. “We got him that Range Rover last year.”_

_You chuckled into Mike’s hair. His ability to read your thoughts was something you were never quite able to come to terms with._

_“Is he still living in that hotel?” the word ‘hotel’ falls from your lips like a curse._

_Mike’s eyes lit up._

_“Why, yes, yes he is,” Mike nodded and you could already see the scheme formulating behind his eyes._

 

-z- 


	3. ...and we'll see the ghosts of our future...

-z-

 

You try really hard not flinch as Wes picks up the basketball signed by Michael Jordan and begins to dribble.  Today, Wes has just turned fifteen and he’s entered a rebellious phase that you don’t think he’ll ever grow out of.

“Goddamn it,” you snarl and slam your hands down onto your desk.

Mike jumps from his spot on the couch, where he had been hunched over case files.  Wes stops dribbling and fades out of your reality.

“Everything okay?” Mike asks hesitantly.

“I’m fine,” you say, trying to take deep breaths.

 _In through your nose, out through your mouth,_  you think, closing your eyes.   _In through your nose, outthroughyourmouth.  Inthroughyournose—_

“Fuck this,” you throw your hands up, walk out the door.

 

-x-

 

Ray is waiting for you by the time you get down to the street and you make a mental note to give Donna another raise.

“Just take me home, please,” you tell him.

You ignore Mike’s phone calls for the rest of the night.

 

-x-

 

_“Try not to scare the kid, okay?” Mike whispers as he leans into you._

_You keep your arm around his waist as the two of you wait for your luggage._

_You had wanted to take the private jet, but Mike said that that would be too intimidating to Travis.  You remember trying to insist that’s what you were going for, Mike said no, you said yes, and then Mike had leaned in close and kissed you and said no and you were lost._

_“I’ll see what I can do,” you say, smirking at the memory._

_“Thank you.”_

 

-x-

 

The last time your other selves bled over into your reality (( _your_  reality, for fuck’s sake,  _yours_ )) was right before you found out your mother had been cheating on your dad for the span of their entire marriage.

You could only watch as your other mothers walked your father’s garden with young men – many hardly older than yourself – on her arm.  You had just stared and stared, watching, and trying to decipher  _why_.

Then the truth came out and your futures changed and twisted and seeped back into your consciousness.

You’re almost at the bottom of the bottle when you close your eyes again.  You ignore the way Wes is sitting at the coffee table, chin resting over folded hands as he just looks at you, waiting for you to look at him and ask him about his day.

 

-x-

 

_“He’s late,” you frown at your watch._

_Just as Mike opened his mouth to make some snide remark about how patience was a virtue, the sound of wailing sirens sounded in the distance._

_You looked up in time to see a large black Range Rover rounding the corner and come careening down the road._

_“That’s safe,” Mike muttered._

_You grinned because you could practically hear him writing the lecture in his head._

_The _Range Rover_ came to a screeching halt in front of you.  You could see Wes and a young black man who must’ve been Travis shouting at each other._

_Not one to be kept waiting, you stalked over to the car and knocked on the window.  You felt a bit of pride when the man jumped, fear brightening in his eyes as he looked at you._

_“Dads,” Wes smiled as he jumped out of the SUV.  You continued to glare at the other kid for a little bit longer before you turn to your son._

_“Hey, kid,” you smiled as you wrapped your arms around him._

_“Wes,” Mike’s eyes lit up as he hugged the boy._

_“How was your flight?”_

_“Long,” Mike sighed._

_“It would’ve been shorter if we had taken—”_

_Mike clapped a hand over your mouth._

_Wes’ eyes just darted between the two of you, but he didn’t ask any questions.  He had learned a long time ago that he wouldn’t have been able to get any real answers, anyway._

_Instead he shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the SUV._

_“That’s Travis,” he said pointing to the man who was still hiding; he made a discreet_ get-the-fuck-out-of-the-car  _motion._

_Travis hesitantly got out of the vehicle – you preened when you saw he was scared of you.  You grinned wickedly at Mike.  Mike pointedly ignored you, you tried not to pout._

_“Travis,” Wes laid a calming hand on his partner’s shoulder.  “These are my dads - Harvey and Mike Specter.  They’re also the best lawyers in New York City.”_

_“Pleasure to meet you,” Travis said, smiling as he shook hands with you and Mike.  It looked like he was starting to get over his initial fear of you._

Can’t have that _, you thought to yourself.  You opened your mouth to threaten the boy, but then you felt Mike’s hand on your arm and a glance at him told you that he knew what you were about to do and_ No, stop it, Harvey _._

 

-z-


	4. ...and make them real.

-z-

 

The pounding on your front door matches the pounding in your head.  You rise shakily, stumbling forward – trying not to lose the contents in your stomach as you make your way towards the door.

“What?” you growl.

“Where have you been,” Mike looks breathless and scared and concerned.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s been two days, Harvey,” Mike is still looking at you and all you can see is him underneath you with his eyes rolled in the back of his head as he screams your name.

Then what he says hits you.

“Two  _days_?” you’re awake now and the headache has been pushed firmly into the back of your mind.

You hadn’t lost time like this before.  Not since your brother was hospitalized and you were lost in all the different futures where he was dead and gone and you were truly alone.

“Don’t worry, Donna’s been covering for you,” he said.  “She told Jessica that you got hit by a bus or something.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and felt your hangover beginning to creep back over you.

“And what did she tell you, Mike?” you narrowed your eyes at the associate.

“She told me to ask you about Wes,” Mike sounded scared again, like he was afraid of the answer.  “She also wanted to ask you what we were going to get him for Christmas.”

“She said ‘we’?”

Mike nodded.

You muttered a curse under your breath and opened the door wider.  When Mike didn’t step in right away, you grabbed him by the tie and pulled him in.  Closing the door and still holding Mike by the tie, you led him to the couch.

“Sit,” you ordered him. 

He did.

“I’ll be right back, I need to shower.  Stay.  That’s a good puppy.”

He huffed.

 

-x-

 

You pretend that you don’t Wes pacing the living room, talking to Mike about this girl at school that he’s in love with.

Mike, of course, can’t see him so he’s watching you and not the pacing teenager.

“So, who’s Wes?”

 _I’m Wes,_ says the memory.   _Dad, are you listening?  Hello?_

You shake your head and it does the trick, Wes disappears.

“Mike,” you sit down in the armchair, as far from Mike as you can get.  “What I’m about to tell you – it’s something that no one else except Donna and my little brother know about.  Do you understand?  And I need you to be absolutely quiet – do  _not_  interrupt me.”

Mike leans forward, interlaces his fingers, and nods.

You take a deep breath and begin.

“Every little thing you do; every little choice you make – it has an effect on your future,” you keep your eyes locked on Mike.  “When you turn left, you could find a dollar and get a soda.  When you turn right, you could get hit by the car and loose a leg and you never see your children again.  But, when you cross the street, you can avoid the accident, you find the dollar, you get the soda, and you meet the love of your life.

“Mike, I dream about all of these different futures.  I dream about how all of the little choices that we’ve made over the course of our lives lead to us being together.  I see all of the possibilities and how they play out.

“Usually, I don’t know which future I’m going to dream about.  But, for the past two months I’ve been dreaming about one in particular.  I won’t tell you everything – I don’t want that sitting on you.  Just know that Wes is from that time – and he’s someone that you and I love very much.”

Mike just stared at you, you watched as he silently processed – breaking down the information and studying it and working to understand.

“You said, ‘we’ve made over the course of our lives lead to us being together’,” you narrowed your eyes.  “We’re together?”

You scrub a hand over your face.

“A lot of the time, yes,” you say.  “But I was having the dreams about us a long time before I even met you.  You can imagine Donna’s reaction when I told her it was you.”

“Is that the real reason you hired me?” you could see a smirk playing at the corners of Mike’s lips.

“No,” you rolled your eyes at the young man’s vanity.

You watched quietly as Mike stood and walked over to you, he was smiling a goofy smile as he placed a hand on either side of your head and leaned down.

The kiss was soft and unsure.  And before you could pull back, Mike was crawling into your lap, nails scraping at the back of your neck and holding you still.

 

-x-

 

 _You opened your mouth to threaten the boy, but then you felt Mike’s hand on your arm and a glance at him told you that he knew what you were about to do and_ No, stop it, Harvey _._

_You pouted._

_“So, do you always drive with the sirens on?” Mike turned to Wes._

_The boy had the decency to look a little ashamed._

_“No,” Wes bowed his head and kicked at the sidewalk._

_“Well, anyway, why don’t you strapping young lads grab our bags and take us here,” you handed Wes a slip of paper with an address on it._

_“What’s this?” he asked._

_“You’ll see when we get there.”_

 

-x-

 

“So we adopted a boy?” Mike is lying by you, drawing invisible patterns against your skin.

“Yeah,” you smiled at the ceiling.

“Why did Donna want to know what we’re getting him for Christmas?”

“Well, the first year he was in Los Angeles, we bought him a new gun.  Second year, a new gun; third, a wedding.  The year before last we got him a red Range Rover, but it was wrecked when he was chasing a bad guy.  So last year we got him another one, only black.”

“And this year?”

You smiled.

“This year, he got a divorce and has been living in a hotel.  So this year we bought him a ridiculously large house.”

“How ridiculously large?”

“It was over five million dollars.”

You watched as Mike’s mouth dropped open.

“We have that kind of money?” he asked in a hushed whisper.

You nod and pull Mike up for a deep kiss.

 

-x-

 

_Mike stopped in front of 9199 Thrasher Avenue.  His mouth dropped open and he looked at the two of you._

_“Who lives here?” he asked._

_Mike tossed him the keys and smiled,_

_“You do, son.”_

_“You didn’t—”_

_“Merry Christmas,” you smiled and got out of the car._

_“People are going to think that you’re taking bribes,” Travis said, clapping Wes on the back._

_Wes could only stare at the house (mansion, really), his jaw hanging open._

_“It’s already furnished,” Mike grinned, slinging an arm across his son’s shoulders and pulling him forward._

_“It’s really more for us, than it is for you,” you said – just to put Wes out of his misery.  “No child of mine is going to live in a hotel.  Well, not unless he owned it, but we both know that there’s no hope for that as long as you’re working as a detective.”_

_“Your father just doesn’t want to be living in squalor when we come to visit,” Mike summarized._

_“I don’t live in squalor,” Wes defended himself._

_“Not anymore,” you smiled._

 

-x-

 

It’s been a year now and tomorrow, you and Mike are getting married.

And two weeks after tomorrow, after your honeymoon in Jamaica and Bora Bora, you’ll be picking Wes up from his last foster home.

 

-z-

 

End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The address is a real place that was for sale for five million dollars.


End file.
